My Life as a Muggle
by rupertlovesme
Summary: Daisy Hookum, wizard of the month on J.K. Rowling, decided to spend a year as a muggle. This is an excerpt from her book that she wrote.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I wish I did, but I don't. I am just using some of her brilliant ideas.

October 30, 1999

Day 48 as a Muggle

Today was a good day. I finally managed to cook lemonade. I mean mix or whatever it is they call it. I just can't get the hang of all this muggle lingo. It tasted fantastic, or at least I thought it did. My new muggle friend thought otherwise. He wanted to know where I learned to cook, mix, whatever it is you do with lemonade and if it involved road kill because that is what it tasted like. I had never been more insulted in my life. We had breakfast as normal. I offered to help him cook, but he refused. I suppose he doesn't want me to burn the whole kitchen again. These men in black suits (Scott called them iremen I think) came running in and they had some kind of device with them that shot out white smoke. At least that is what it looked like. The fire was put out though so that is good. If only I had my wand. I could have taken that fire out in a second. Maybe then he wouldn't have had to move out of his flat. I would love to know how muggles came up with this stuff. The ways they get along without magic, you just wouldn't believe half of it even if I told you.

Anyway, like I said, breakfast went on as usual. We left the flat at quarter till 9 and headed to London underground. We went to King's Cross today. I wanted so badly to enter platform 9 ¾, but I couldn't with Scott being there and all. I finally managed to figure out muggle money. I counted it and paid for my ticket all by myself. I was so tickled that I tried to give him a tip to be polite, but he was offended by that and said that he didn't need my charity. It seems like I can never do anything nice around here without getting in some kind of trouble. Muggles and their attitudes.

Work was a disaster. They put me on a fellyhone today. They said all I had to do was answer it and help these people with their questions. I thought it wouldn't be half bad. Boy was I wrong. They had the strangest questions. One of them asked me if my refrigerator was running. I said yes and then they said you better go catch it. I still don't understand what they meant by that. Stupid teenagers and their hormones that is what I say. Another person asked me all kinds of questions about their umputer. Of course, I had read all about those so I knew the answers. He said it was making some kind of humming noise. I told him to open up the back panel on the odem and reconnect some of the wires. I heard and explosion and then the line went dead. He must have been a happy customer because he called back and started yelling into the phone. I learned that muggles yell when they like stuff. I told him this was my first time answering fellyhones and that I was glad that I could be of help to him. Then he screamed that he was never calling back here again and that he was calling his lawyer. I didn't really understand why he said that though. He was happy that was all that mattered.

When I went on my lunch break I wasn't really hungry so I went walking into some of the muggle shops. There were a lot of kids with their parents buying costumes. One of them wanted to be a witch. She was telling her mother that she wanted to be green with warts all over her face. She also wanted a hump and a broom with a black cat with one eye. The more that little girl talked the angrier that I got. I finally walked over to the girl and yelled at her and her mother. I told her that real witches don't look like that at all. On the contrary we look just like normal people and we don't carry brooms around all of the time. Most witches don't even own cats, let alone one with one eye. The mother picked up her daughter and ran out of the store yelling something about lunatics. I swear the nerve of some of these muggle people.

After my lunch break, a man called and started talking about some nasty things which I won't repeat. I was so angry with him that I yelled a curse on the phone. Then I realized that I didn't have my wand so nothing would happen. It was really disappointing. At the end of the day my boss, Richard, called me into his office. He sat me down and pressed play on his tape thing he called a corder. It was the nice conversation that I had with the umputer guy. I was all smiles, but Richard didn't seem too pleased. He said that I was immature and incompetent and that I had no right working in a work environment such as his. Needless to say he fired me. It was all too upsetting to write in detail about. I was in tears by the end.

My muggle friend Scott took me out for a drink to cheer me up. There was this nice little muggle pub named 'Ole Charley' not too far from my flat. I sat down at the bar and ordered a beer. I drank it quickly and ordered two more. The more I drank the less I remembered until I passed out. I don't remember much else after that except that Scott half dragged, half carried me home. I guess it was good I didn't live to far. I woke up later that night with a head ache the size of Mount Everest. If only I had the hungor potion. I so wouldn't feel like this. That leads to now I guess. Tomorrow I start looking for a new job. Hopefully it will turn out better then the last six. Why did I do this to myself? There must be something seriously wrong with me. Today wasn't as good a day as I thought it was.

Excerpt from _My Life as a Muggle_

by

Daisy Hookum

A/N

_I was on HPANA and I read that the wizard of the day was a girl named Daisy Hookum. She lived as a muggle for a year and then wrote a book called My Life as a Muggle. I thought it would be cool to write a little one shot about it. This is my first fan fic so don't be too harsh on me. Please read and review. _

_Beth_


End file.
